Thursday, January 31, 2008

Help me....


Hello.....

Hello.....

Is there anyone inside this damn box? I'm not sure how much longer Kris is going to be away, but I know he talks to people on this magic box, so I'm trying to see if anyone is listening. You have to send help immedietly. I'm Kris's grandpappy and I need to get out of here. He's had me trapped for a couple of months, and he doesn't like to feed me. Keeps saying something about wanting me to change my will but I don't know what he's talking about. He drained my dry years ago. He already has it all, and its never enough! I don't know what to do. He refuses to change my diapers, and pays hookers to put in my catheder. But they have penises! I've never heard of such a thing. I'm 95 years old and just want to enjoy my final months without worrying about getting hit for talking out of turn. Is that too much to ask?

So you have to send help. Send it here now. Only problem is that I don't know where I am. I think there is a tree outside, but maybe not. He blindfolded me when he brought me here. Told me he was taking me to a surprise party. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure he's my grandson. He told me he was, but I'm kind of senile. Are you senile if you know you're senile? Now I'm confused.

BANG BANG

Grandpa?! Open this door

Oh dammit. He's home already. I put a chair in front of the door, but he's trying to break it down.

Grandpa.....you don't want to spend the night in the box again, do you? Open the door please. I brought home a trannie to change your catheder.

I don't know what a trannie is, but I bet it has a penis. Please help

CRASH!!!!!!

Okay grandpa, what the fuck? What are you doing? Why are you typing what I'm saying? And those sound effects are just shitty. If you're going to try and report me, do it with some style for fucks sake. Okay play time is over. You know where your box is.

Pray for me. I don't want him to sic the Gremlins on me again.

Hi Heather :p

2 comments:

Heather said...

Holy crap! You made me spit juice on the screen! Your poor grandpa! I'm starting to wonder about you, Kris......ok that's not true, I've BEEN wondering about you already. =D Still laughing....

Kris said...

Oops. Sorry if I wrecked your moniter. No, actually I'm not sorry. That's awesome.