I'm Holding Out for a Hero...

As the average blogger goes, I am somewhat less than prolific. But I don't have to tell you that, do I? While some people post a bit of writing almost every day, I tend to stick closer to the "once a week" rule of thumb. It's not that I don't have anything to say on a daily basis, but probably that I don't want to wear all of you out. The average person can only handle so much exposure to my bullshit, so I need to be careful not to burn you all out too quickly. I must refrain from blowing my proverbial load, if you will. It's difficult to make a cum reference sound classy, but I think I nailed that one.

Actually, I just lead somewhat of a dull existence, and its tough finding tons of stuff in my day to day adventures that I deem worthy of writing about. And let's be honest, some of the things I've written about are pretty stupid. Imagine the stuff I DON'T write about. Fucking scary.

So it was with some amusement tonight, that I realized I have 4 things I want to talk about. Expect me to be a whole lot more prolific over the next few days.

First up is something that you're either not going to care about at all, or you will consider it "old news". Way to start out with a bang, huh? A co-worker was kind enough to let me borrow his Season One DVDs of the TV show "Heroes". And I fucking love it! At this point, (if you're a fan of the show) you're probably thinking "I was enjoying Heroes 2 years ago! Where the fuck have you been, you loser!"

First off, names hurt.

Secondly, I have a very good reason for not watching the show up until yesterday. I just don't watch a lot of TV. Every now and then I'll catch a certain program, but never with a specific schedule. I've found that I can't live up to the type of commitment required of a weekly television show. Now back when the show was just starting out, it seemed that EVERYONE was watching it. And wanting to talk to me about it.

"DID YOU SEE HEROES LAST NIGHT!?!?!?!"

You could just tell from the ravenous look in their eyes, that they absolutely fucking NEEDED to discuss every little plot point and character revelation with me immediately.

"No, I guess I missed it...."

This was always met with an incredulous stare, followed by an awkward pause.

"Oh......well it was awesome....."

The sheer disappointment of a Heroes fan with no one around to analyze it with. Truly heartbreaking. Obviously, I knew I was missing out on something that could have been great, but I already knew what would happen. I've been down this road before. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times...

I would watch an episode or two, and then miss one or two and now I've missed so much story that I don't know what the fuck is going on, and why is that character kissing that other one, they hate each other, and when the fuck did that guy die, and who's that girl and why is she acting like that......

And then I smash my TV. And TVs are expensive, so I tend the avoid the entire scenario in the first place by just not watching it at all. But perhaps I was missing out on something truly special. Sadly, by the time I came to this realization, I had already missed half of the season. FAIL. Better luck next time loser.

Fortunately I have been known, from time to time, to exhibit a wee bit o' craftiness. "That's it! I'll just pick up the DVDs when they come out. Then I'll watch all of the episodes in order! Kris, you sly son of a bitch you..."

And then....I just sort of forgot about it, to be honest with you. It completely dropped off of my radar. The DVDs were released a while ago, and up until yesterday, I still hadn't known the joy of Heroes.

Well, since I received the DVDs yesterday, I have watched 9 episodes. Let that sink in for a minute. Including the 70 minute pilot, that means I've watched a little over 7 HOURS of Heroes in the last 24 hour period. That's fucking crazy! How the hell did I even find the time? Oh, that's right. I decided I needed to know more about Hiro and Peter and Claire, than I needed to sleep. Seriously, this show has me addicted in the worst way. I want to put my arms around it and whisper sweet nothings in its ear. I want to gently spoon with it and make it believe that I'll always be there. I want to slap my cock up against.....wait....sorry about that. Took a disturbing turn there for a second.

Anyone else devoted to the church of Heroes? If you are....DON'T FUCKING SPOIL ANYTHING FOR ME. I will do terrible things to you, while softly singing the following song:

That was the song "Eyes" as performed by Rogue Wave. It's featured in the first and fourth episodes of the show, and like everything else Heroes related, is fucking awesome. I can't get it out of my head. Hopefully now you won't be able to either. You're welcome. I couldn't find an "official" video of the song, so I settled for the weirdest one on YouTube. Hope you like.

Oh, and I may have to go back on my word about the other 3 posts coming over the next couple of days (two "reviews" and something Slurpee related). My computer decided to be an asshole last night and crapped out right in the middle of writing this. If I can get it going over the weekend, new posts will appear, I promise. As it is, I'm finishing this at work, risking getting my ass fired so that you can read about my love of Heroes. God damn I'm dedicated.